Katie D. Arnold- Writer

Category: Uncategorized

  • The Art of being Alone

    I think it is hard, I still struggle with it, loneliness that is. It goes through waves for me sometimes I crave solitude especially when I am very busy and sometimes the need for human interaction, even just a phone call, is helpful to making me feel better. I think being a single mom who isn’t currently dating and most of my close friends live out of town lends for a lot of alone time that I struggle with. I love my time with my daughter, and that is the time I cherish most, but with co-parenting their are significant breaks in our time together and I miss her when she is with her dad.

    I also struggle getting back out there and dating because my marriage was so toxic. In that sense I would rather be alone than trying to please someone else or doing everything they say with no decisions of my own in the relationship. Being alone is a freedom that is purely enjoyed after being in a controlling and manipulative relationship.

    I think adult friendships are hard. Everyone is busy with work and family and it leaves little room to make new friends and spend the time building those new relationships. I lost a lot of friendships I had built throughout my marriage during my divorce due to gossip or misinformation about me and my situation, and also due to a huge lifestyle change I made refraining from drinking regularly and never drinking heavily like I did in my marriage. I just quietly quit the friendships of people who supported my ex-husband through our divorce and who continued to drink a lot, especially drinking with kids present, and I think I am better off for it. However it does leave me with a much smaller friend base and less people to do things with which can be lonely.

    Another thing that tends to leave me feeling disconnected or lonely is that hobbies I enjoy can tend to be isolating and solitary- for example reading and needlework. One of my goals is to find some kind of group to join the involves an interest I enjoy and can help me meet people. I think a mental health or single mom support group would be a huge help to me right now, but maybe also getting involved in a local church, volunteering more at my daughter’s school, or being more involved in helping with her extra-curricular activities would be something to think about too.

    I think struggling with one’s mental health can be extremely isolating too. The motivation to get up and do anything is hard during a bout of depression and can also leave one feeling isolated due to not feeling like they have anyone to talk to who understands what they are going through. I think until someone truly experiences how hard depression is they will never understand the struggle and internal battle a person with depression faces and how lonely it can be sometimes.

    Technology and the modern world in some ways has made us more connected then ever, but in other ways it has fostered more isolation as we all just sit in front of our screens vs interacting in person more regularly. Loneliness is hard and I struggle with it regularly but I have to remember it is also freedom and independence and I should relish that part of it.

  • When fatigue is more than just depression

    Recently I have been feeling down, sluggish, tired (more than the usual tired) and I have been chalking it all up to a bit of depression and stress. The usual stress with co-parenting, work, lack of connection to peers etc. Come to find out through the gastroenterologist and the tests she ran that I may have Celiac disease and this could be contributing to my feeling of fatigue.

    Now this is the hard part of suffering from chronic depression is that everything feels like depression when you are fatigued or sluggish. And sometimes there are other physical factors that are not just depression, but it still feels just like a bad bout of depression.

    Two years ago I got the flu really bad over the holidays. I was confirmed it was the flu to rule out covid, so tests confirmed that the flu was actually what I had. I was sick for 2-3 weeks but the weird thing was I didn’t feel sick I just felt super depressed and sluggish. That’s where our minds can play tricks on us. Suffering from chronic depression can make us feel like anything physical going on with our bodies is just that same old depressed, sluggish, fatigued feeling. That’s because depression causes physical symptoms in people suffering from it the same way the flu and a myriad of other health conditions make us feel tired too.

    This is what makes suffering from mental health diseases so hard sometimes- is it physical, is it mental, is it both? Is it stress induced or circumstances, is it mental only and our medicine just needs to be adjusted? It is hard to know sometimes. Mental health medications can cause a myriad of side effects is why some doctors write off my physical symptoms as nothing other than side effects which can be frustrating. Also many mental health medications cause weight gain and then doctors tend to associate any physical issues with the problem of obesity, but maybe it is more than just obesity or stress, maybe something is really wrong physically but most doctors won’t believe you because of your mental health diagnosis. The stigma that everything is just in your head with a mental health diagnosis and don’t believe everything on the internet has been said countless times to me by various health professionals and is frustrating to say the least.

    I know my body and I can feel something isn’t right, more than just stress, more than being over weight (though I don’t deny losing weight would help me to feel better), and more than my mental health diagnosis which I am managing well. I am relieved this doctor is doing further tests to get to the bottom of my gastro symptoms.

    I think depression makes everything harder right?! But sometimes knowing whether it is truly just depression getting you down or something more is hard too. I encourage all to seek medical help whenever something feels off either mentally or physically or both. Early detection saves lives and as far as mental health issues seeking help early gets us back to our best selves faster, to live our best lives longer with less suffering for ourselves and loved ones.

  • Welcome

    Let me introduce myself… Hi- I am Katie a single mom with a Bachelor’s Degree in History and a Paralegal Certificate. I have been working as a paralegal since 2011 in the Intellectual Property field. I am an aspiring writer hoping to get published someday but my real passion is Mental Health Advocacy having been diagnosed Bipolar 1 since 2002. I hope with this blog I can share some tips and tricks to how I have managed my illness and we can grow together learning how to manage our illnesses successfully and advocate for ourselves better.

    I also hope with this blog, as a lover of history, to dive into the history of Mental Health, research and share some stories of famous figures who have struggled themselves, and learn how modern medicine in the 20th century developed and changed the fields of psychiatry and psychology.

    Please join this journey with me to better health and wellness by subscribing and commenting- thank you for reading!