What a true sentiment, it really does! I think it can make such a huge difference in all of our personal relationships – from friends and family to co-workers and even acquaintances or even strangers we encounter in our daily lives. One thing I like to remember when I am upset or angry about something and I am trying to express this to someone else and discuss my feelings or the situation with someone are two things- 1. Is it necessary, will it help the situation positively and 2. is it kind to say to this person? If it is not either of these things, kind or necessary, I try to hold back and keep my negative, hurtful thoughts and feelings to myself to either journal about them privately later or talk with someone else later, like my therapist or my mom. But this can be hard! And strong emotions like anger, fear, and being hurt about something or frustrated about something can get the best of us especially people like me who personally struggle with regulating my strong emotions due to a mental health diagnosis.

I think the most important person to remember to be kind to though is ourselves. And this can be super hard sometimes! For me during more low times mood wise when I am more depressed I tend to turn my anger and my feelings of being upset inward toward myself and in times when I am feeling more up mood wise or hypo-manic I tend to turn my anger and feelings of being upset outward at others typically those people in my life who I am closest to like my family. Neither of these tendencies is good and one thing I am really trying to work on are my feelings of anger and feelings of being upset especially about major life events I have experienced like being diagnosed with Bipolar when I was a teenager (yes I am still struggling with that unfortunately) and going through a hard, traumatic divorce in the last 5 years.

One thing that has helped me in my difficulties with trying to co-parent effectively with a very difficult person, my ex-husband, is remembering to always try my best to be kind and understanding toward him and his situation. Now this doesn’t always work out perfectly because I can get frustrated easily by his lack of kindness or understanding toward me, but for the sake of my daughter and wanting to do what is best for her always, I try to stay kind and respectful toward him no matter how he is treating me and this in some ways has helped me personally heal from some of the verbal and mental abuse I suffered from him during our 10 year long relationship. Kindness, on my end at least, has helped contribute a lot toward my healing with all of that previous trauma I experienced in that relationship and kindness has helped a lot with my on-going frustration of co-parenting with a difficult person regularly which can be hard sometimes.

Kindness has helped me a lot with being a good mother and having an excellent and special relationship with my daughter that I treasure so much and I am so thankful and proud of. Young children can be difficult and stubborn and infuriating at times, honestly, and navigating this semi-alone (with some help from my mom) has been super hard at times. But keeping kindness at the forefront of my relationship with my daughter, who is only 5 years old, I have found to be super important because she is little, and doesn’t always understand, and she is still learning and growing and needs that constant guidance from all of the adults in her life (parents, teachers, grandparents, etc). I still remember to set boundaries and stick to certain rules and trust me she is not always happy about that, but keeping kindness and understanding and love at the forefront of my parenting style has been so helpful for both of us and I look forward to our mother/daughter relationship growing and getting even better as she gets older.

To wrap this up, my point is that kindness is important and helpful with all of the relationships in our lives, and we need more of it (kindness in general) in this sometimes very dark world we live in, but it can be hard when our emotions and stress get the best of us. I definitely struggle with that! All we can do is try our best to be the best version of ourselves and focus on being who we each uniquely are as people, apologize and repair relationships when we can, and move on and try to heal when we can’t. I have lost a lot of friendships during my divorce which I still do regret and grieve to some extent, and I have a very difficult relationship and dynamic with my sister, but my parents are my rock and I am very thankful for that and I hope and I strive to be that for my daughter. So keep pushing, keep trying to do your best, that is all any of us can do, and with the help of therapy and doctors and people in our lives who are positive influences- we can do this! We can thrive, not just survive, struggling with mental illness and keeping kindness at the forefront of our daily emotional journeys .