Dating is hard in general, but dating after divorce is on a whole another level. It is scary to put myself out there after I have been hurt so badly. The “supposed” love of my life didn’t work out, now what?!
The last time I was single I was 25 years old (the year was 2010) and the world was a different place. There were no dating apps or terms for poor dating practices like ghosting (now I am painfully aware of the term ghosting, as I have experienced this first hand numerous times). We all either met someone in college, or at our first job out of college, or out socializing with other young adults our age typically at a bar. Those were the good ‘ole days!
I think technology has made dating harder, less personal, and therefore each person is more dispensable… swipe and there is an even better option waiting at our fingertips. This cheapens the whole experience for everyone. I don’t need a man to make me feel happy or fulfilled, but I would like a committed companion/partner to spend the rest of my life with. I just don’t want to put the amount of work in that it requires to date these days and find that person, and that is unfortunate.
I go through cycles of thinking I should get back on the apps and then I do, just to be faced with disappointment. Most guys are looking for an easy hookup and not someone to spend time with or get to know on any real level. It is disappointing to say the least and it is why so many young people are choosing to stay single these days. I personally like being single or at least I don’t mind it. After years of being in a very controlling and abusive relationship, my freedom is more precious than having mr. wrong on my arm.
I wonder and hope someday I will just meet someone organically like in a books store, or a coffee shop, or at the airport and it will just click, everything will be easy, our chemistry will be electric and our lives will slowly grow into place. That would be so nice! I don’t know if it is realistic given the dating climate we live in but here’s to hoping it is!
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