Maybe the thing that hurts our kids most isn’t always the divorce. Maybe it’s growing up in a home filled with tension, resentment, fighting, the silent treatment, or watching two people slowly disappear and lose themselves inside a marriage that isn’t healthy.
I spent so much of my time time prior to filing for divorce and during the divorce worrying that leaving would eventually ruin my daughter. But the opposite happened, she is thriving in a happy and emotionally healthy home (at least at my house where she spends most of her time).
Kids don’t need a perfect family, and no family is picture perfect. Kids need love, stability, safety, and parents who show up. They need to see an example that sometimes choosing a healthier, more stable life means choosing a different one than was originally planned. Holding onto a life and situation that isn’t good for anyone involved, because it is what “society” says we should do is not the answer.
Yes, divorce changes a family dynamic, but it doesn’t have to destroy it and kids will be better off with two happy and emotionally stable parents who live separate lives than two miserable parents who can’t stand each other but are too scared to make the hard decision to separate.
Leaving was hard but looking back it was the best decision I ever made and if I knew what I know now I would’ve left even earlier to protect my peace and mental health.
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