I think it is hard, I still struggle with it, loneliness that is. It goes through waves for me sometimes I crave solitude especially when I am very busy and sometimes the need for human interaction, even just a phone call, is helpful to making me feel better. I think being a single mom who isn’t currently dating and most of my close friends live out of town lends for a lot of alone time that I struggle with. I love my time with my daughter, and that is the time I cherish most, but with co-parenting their are significant breaks in our time together and I miss her when she is with her dad.

I also struggle getting back out there and dating because my marriage was so toxic. In that sense I would rather be alone than trying to please someone else or doing everything they say with no decisions of my own in the relationship. Being alone is a freedom that is purely enjoyed after being in a controlling and manipulative relationship.

I think adult friendships are hard. Everyone is busy with work and family and it leaves little room to make new friends and spend the time building those new relationships. I lost a lot of friendships I had built throughout my marriage during my divorce due to gossip or misinformation about me and my situation, and also due to a huge lifestyle change I made refraining from drinking regularly and never drinking heavily like I did in my marriage. I just quietly quit the friendships of people who supported my ex-husband through our divorce and who continued to drink a lot, especially drinking with kids present, and I think I am better off for it. However it does leave me with a much smaller friend base and less people to do things with which can be lonely.

Another thing that tends to leave me feeling disconnected or lonely is that hobbies I enjoy can tend to be isolating and solitary- for example reading and needlework. One of my goals is to find some kind of group to join the involves an interest I enjoy and can help me meet people. I think a mental health or single mom support group would be a huge help to me right now, but maybe also getting involved in a local church, volunteering more at my daughter’s school, or being more involved in helping with her extra-curricular activities would be something to think about too.

I think struggling with one’s mental health can be extremely isolating too. The motivation to get up and do anything is hard during a bout of depression and can also leave one feeling isolated due to not feeling like they have anyone to talk to who understands what they are going through. I think until someone truly experiences how hard depression is they will never understand the struggle and internal battle a person with depression faces and how lonely it can be sometimes.

Technology and the modern world in some ways has made us more connected then ever, but in other ways it has fostered more isolation as we all just sit in front of our screens vs interacting in person more regularly. Loneliness is hard and I struggle with it regularly but I have to remember it is also freedom and independence and I should relish that part of it.