When is it time to quit?

When is it time to quit all of the toxic relationships in our lives? When is enough enough? I unfortunately have two people in my life who are very toxic toward me and who I can’t remove easily from the situation: my ex-husband (who I co-parent with) and my sister.

The toxic nature of my relationship with my ex-husband and the animosity that has grown between us is understandable. My ex-husband did and said horrific things about me throughout our whole divorce process and continues to speak badly about me and do things to cause mistrust and divisiveness between us, but I am working on it with my therapist and things are temporarily better right now.

Unfortunately my sister is a whole nother animal. She is jealous, she is stubborn, she is mean and unfair and unkind. She has no empathy for my situation and how hard it has been and I hate her for it. To kick someone when they are down is worse than mean it is cruel. She has cut me out of her life once again for another year or so I guess, we’ll see.

We just saw each other recently for my mom’s birthday and everything was fine until it wasn’t. (one more F’ing time!) She is relentless and my parents and I are just getting tired of it.

When is enough enough? Well I say now. I am tired and I am just trying to live my best life with no drama and all she brings is drama.

Now granted she struggles with her mental health too and I thought having similar struggles would bring us together as something to bond over, but she has used it as another reason to hate me, acting like I could’ve given her Bipolar somehow similar to giving someone the flu?! It is just crazy thinking and that is the thing when she goes though these long periods of being angry and mad at everyone my thoughts are that she is unwell and not taking care of herself which makes me sad for her. She can’t quite get a handle on her mental health to live a happy, stable life, but a lot of people struggle with that, me included. It has just been recently that everything has fallen into place for me as far as recovery and managing my Bipolar and Celiac diagnosis’s and all my mom duties with minimal help, and I am so thankful, but I have also put in the work to get to this good place. And that is the big issue with my sister is that she won’t accept her Bipolar diagnosis or get any real help for it, and that also makes me sad for her.

I don’t however feel like I should be the person she takes all her issues out on though. She has a happy marriage, three wonderful kids, a great job, and has lost weight recently- the world is her oyster and she is still mad at me, for whatever reason she has come up with this time. I guess I just have to ride it out till she feels ok with me again, but honestly I am tired of the rollercoaster and the emotional blackmail that consumes our relationship. My parents are the only things holding us together and when they unfortunately pass I will have no reason to keep a relationship with my sister and I am honestly looking forward to cutting her off… so maybe I should do it now?