Society expects us to parent like we don’t have a job and fulfill work obligations like we don’t have kids. To clean the house, cook meals from scratch, and exercise daily like we have the time to do all that after work and family duties have been fulfilled. These are unrealistic expectations that society and especially social media has put into our heads. That if we aren’t doing all these things somehow simultaneously we are falling behind and not keeping up with our peers.
Well the question is “who are we meant to keep up with exactly?”- Our other mom friends who don’t have jobs, or our work friends who don’t have kids, or our neighbors who have spouses and two incomes, or other friends who have built in daycare with their parents always helping? The fact of the matter is we are all on our own paths and our own journies and all of our circumstances are different and that is ok! We are not meant to run this rat race and “keep up” with each other, and even though social media makes it unusually easy to see everyone sharing their “perfect” lives for us to compare our “messy” lives to, this is just not normal or healthy for us and it is especially not healthy for our mental health.
I have found that I struggle with a lot more than my peers due to my Bipolar diagnosis. My mood shifts and I go through long periods of depression or hypomania each with their own unique set of challenges all while trying to be the best employee and mom I can be. This can set me back and be discouraging. Discouraging to feel like I am behind or struggling more than other moms with kids the same age as mine or friends the same age as me. I have to remember I have my own unique set of challenges and blessings and that while I may be struggling some days other days I am not and having a heart of gratitude for that is important. I need to be kinder to myself and give myself the grace I would give a friend, we all do, because life is hard and we all have our own unique set of struggles and blessings.
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