I love being productive, getting things done, crossing off my lists, organizing, etc, it makes me feel accomplished. However I also love a good day of doing nothing, and wow can I get wrapped up in that too! There is a good balance in life of productivity and laziness, or I don’t even like calling it that, let’s use relaxation as a better term.
If I had to pick one or the other that I spend more time doing it would definitely be relaxation. I am from the YOLO (you only live once) generation of millennials and we are going to make the most of our situation including prioritizing relaxation and “me” time. However, productivity also feels good as it feels good to get things done especially things I have been putting off at work or in my personal life.
A lot of the time the thing determining these periods or prioritizing productivity or relaxation are my moods/episodes I am experiencing related to my Bipolar diagnosis. When I am up and elevated I sleep less and I am much more productive, starting projects etc, finishing my work faster. When I am down and in a depression cycle then I rest more and relaxation takes more of a priority. It is weird how my moods effects this so much but they do.
Recently I have felt a lot more stable and balanced, neither up nor down, just how I would assume a “normal” person approaches life and it has been great to feel good! To feel like I have exited off of the roller coaster of the up and down mood swings, at least for just for a little bit, has been life changing. I have been a better employee and definitely a better mother in this period of stability and I am so proud of that.
Now while I love the periods of hypomania and more productivity I don’t like that it typically comes with the down swing of a depressive episode sometime shortly after. The up swing of the pendulum can be nice but the down swing is hard to manage. I would much better be stable and even tempered like I am feeling now.
Leave a Reply